I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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