I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
