Well apparently he's into motor boating.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's shark week go big or go home
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize