i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
