what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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