i just sent this text using only my big toe
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
