she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
