And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize