I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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