The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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