im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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