So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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