i think i have herpe
just one?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
