people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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