After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
