too bad you live with your parents still
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
