I think i peed on brittanys purse
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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