apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize