normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
