do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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