So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
