I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
