grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
