We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
