i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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