i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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