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That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
