I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
