I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
