she woke up with a sticky ear
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We left the knife in your bed.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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