Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
