I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I got inside last night via doggy door
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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