I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
