i don't like sucking hair
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
