Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
