She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
how drunk are you?
Several
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
