If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
