what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
