So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
that may or may not have been my penis.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
