I smell stomach acid.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
