well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
