best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
