well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
