haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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