problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
