Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
