i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
