I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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