does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
