My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
