just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
