I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
