My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
