It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Pooping to opera.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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