I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
