I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
