I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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