she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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