Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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