He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
