Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
