She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
