i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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