we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
