I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
