it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
